How to stop worrying about the future and start living in the present?

I understand that it may sound slightly vague. Here is the dilemma:

One one hand: we should build our future by ourselves and do plan our life for a long term, including our financial goals, mentality, physical activity, etc..

And sometimes when we go too far in thinking of our future we start stressing about it using: “what if…” questions. There are a lot of them.

One the other hand: we should live in the present and treat today like it’s the only day that matters.

It’s kinda tough to mix two these mindsets together.

What are your thoughts?

renton1000 Yeah - I’ve thought about this - and it messed with me for a while. The dilemma comes from mixing up planning for the future with living in the future. For me there is nothing wrong with planning. In fact, planning is something we do in the present. I can sit down today and decide how much I want to save, how I want to exercise, what I want to learn, or where I want life to go. That is simply using the mind as a practical tool.

The problem begins when the mind creates a psychological future and says things like: "I will be happy when I have enough money." "I will be safe when I know what is going to happen." "I will finally be able to relax when I reach that goal." That is different from practical planning. We have moved from planning for the future to actually living psychologically in the future. I think the trick here is to use the future for practical purposes, but not make the future the place where I expect to find peace.

So I can have a financial plan for the next 10 years …. can invest every month. I can look after the body, can have goals. But while Im doing those things, my actual life is still happening now. For example, suppose I’m saving for retirement. I might think "I want to have enough money by 65 so that I can be financially independent."That's practical. But then the mind starts …. "What if the market crashes? What if I lose my job? What if I don't have enough? What if inflation gets worse? What if I get sick? What if I make the wrong investment?"

Now Im no longer dealing with the future as a practical reality. I'm creating imaginary futures in the mind and experiencing the emotional consequences of them in the present. Another view on it could be … I don't have to stop planning. I simply have to recognise when planning has turned into anxiety.

I think there is also an important distinction between responsibility and fear. You can say: "I don't know exactly what will happen, but I can take sensible steps today to prepare." That's presence. Or you can say: "I need to mentally solve every possible future scenario before I can feel safe." That's the mind seeking certainty which it can never achieve.

Maybe another way to reconcile it might be …. Plan for the future but live in the present. Plan my finances but enjoy the life I have while I’m building them. Exercise for the health I want in ten years but feel your body while Im exercising today. Work toward a better future but don't postpone my peace until I arrive there. Think about tomorrow when tomorrow requires practical attention but when I find myself repeatedly asking 'what if' then recognise that I have left the present moment and entered a mental projection. The future is important as a practical dimension. But psychologically, the only moment I ever actually have is now.

So for me the deeper question isn't should I live for the future or live for today? It's more can I prepare for tomorrow without sacrificing today? And I think the answer is yes. I can build a very deliberate future while remaining fully present in the process. So it really boils down to the key fact that it is that my goals that are in the future, but my life is not. Jul 25 3 likes

SukunaLedger3 You nailed it with the distinction between planning and that anxiety spiral! It’s so easy to get caught up in scenarios like “what if I lose my job?” instead of just focusing on what I can do today. I’ve found that when I remind myself to enjoy the little moments while working toward my goals, everything feels way more balanced. Jul 29 2 likes

calmfluffy This is why I found a daily meditation practice valuable, even if just 3-5 minutes.

I sit down to focus on my breathing, to enjoy the moment, to be aware of what's around me. Sometimes I can hear birds.

Some days, my mind will be really busy; worrying about the future, financial goals, physical activity, the things you mention.

But what I've learned is: whether I worry about those things in those 3-5 minutes has no impact on the future. It just means I'm less present in those 3-5 minutes. So what I've learned is to recognize the thoughts and let them go: I can come to them in a moment that I can actually act upon them.

You can go for a forest walk and look at your phone constantly refreshing your financial portfolio; but that's probably not going to make you more money, nor is it going to give you anything close to the benefits a nice walk in the forest could potentially offer you. Jul 28 1 like