A man should never:

• drink out of a straw

• take a selfie

• tell people it’s his birthday

• take naps

• follow celebrity gossip

• get jealous

• wait for the crosswalk

• run from the rain

• carry a backpack with a suit

• wear sunglasses inside

• carry the sins of his ancestors

• be the last one in the pool

• wear his heart on his sleeve

Intentionally missing from this list is bubble baths, because they are awesome.